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Need help figuring out if a dom is trying to scam me

I apologize if this is super long winded.
I am completely new to the BDSM world. A few weeks ago I started talking to a Dom through a site called AdultFreindFinder(she contacted me) and i'm now pretty sure its a scam but I would like a few others opinions to see if my hunch is correct.
I am going to post the transcripts of our email exchange and hopefully someone with more experience can shed light on this for me.
on AFF chat:
Her:
I'm new here and the website sent me your profile and says you are my new match, I don't know if you got my profile as well. After checking your profile out and seeing our compatibility chart is very high, I guess we might be a match after all. So this what I am looking for, am looking for a submissive pussy licking sex slave who is interested in BDSM/Kinky play, the key word here being SUBMISSIVE and BDSM/KINKY play. I know this is not for everyone, but if this something you want or dream about we can fulfill your fantasies together do check out my profile and send me a message ASAP.
Mistress Ann.
P:S This is going to be a soft BDSM sex slave, very mild bondage, this will be exploring more of pleasure than pain. Disregard this message if you don't have any submissive tendencies at all.
Me:
This is intriguing and I am interested in learning more about you and the domain of submission. I will be honest and say that I have very little experience in the kinky play area but I consider myself very open to experience.
Her:
Perfect let's continue this conversation in a more private environment. What I seek is a smart, intelligent, obedient and eager to serve sub and I think that might be you. Reply this message with your email address so I can contact you and set in motion the process to make you my submissive slut just because I don't get on here as much as I would like and I wouldn't want to leave you in limbo about making you my sex slave...
Mistress Ann.
Me:
At this point I give her a throw away email address

Chat moves to email:
Her:
I'm very pleased to be contacting you via regular email, the little exchanges we have had so far shows that our interest is aligned. This is the first step into making you all that you can become in serving and making me happy and in the process satisfying you as well and you need to be dominated by such a beautiful lady as myself in a real-life scenario.
This is not a trail for you to know and discover if you are submissive or not. For this, to work you have to know you are submissive and ready to stay submissive. If at this point you are unsure, I'll advise you to stop reading this email now, ignore it and not reply so no more time is wasted cause this is going nowhere if you are not truly submissive. If you have kept on reading and sure you are submissive then we can move forward and proceed.
I expect you to always be honest with me to be my slave, respecting me goes without saying slave you must always remember that you are the slave always in this relationship, therefore, I make all the decisions in this dynamic and you must always refer to me as MISTRESS. Like I previously pointed out and am sure by now you know that for this to work on any level you have to be submissive not playing at it. You will be dominated and toyed with by me for both our pleasures and the full spectrum of BDSM which may include, ass worship, anal penetration (mine), physical humiliation, psychical punishment (yours), forced masturbation, as long as its within your boundaries,you will be punished accordingly if you fail to attain my goals of you pleasing me. I will have variations of cute names that I will call you such as slut pie, sex slut you will answer to these names when I call you.
Anything public is of limits for me slave, I value my privacy very much, this means that all our plays will only be behind closed doors to assure maximum discretion, at no point will I send you any nude pictures of me via any medium even after our sessions have started. I hope you are insatiable as I am and ready to go on for long hours to please me, slave. During our plays protection will be paramount until such a time that you can show me that you are clean, safe and disease free as I am. For now, you are under a period of evaluation that will help me to determine if you are suitable to be my slave in the long term cause that's my ultimate goal. Since we have established that you are indeed submissive I don't envisage any problems with making you my slave and that process can start after you have replied this email.
Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yes Mistress.
Her:
Excellent my slave, I'll like to start with knowing your name.
Mistress Ann.
Me:
I give her my nickname
Her:
I am a mature and sexy 36-year-old woman, divorced and originally from Germany. I came over here 5 years ago back when I was still married to my husband. I was married for 4 years and divorced for 2.My whole life is here now a slave and am looking forward to making you a part of it. I don't know the caliber of women you have come across in your life but there is none in my class. I have been an active player in this lifestyle for a while and know what am doing, of course, you are welcomed to make your thoughts known if you think they are contrary to mine but with respect, remember you are the slave always. I am a bisexual domme with experience of unparalleled domination and alluring control. I want to make you my slave with my understanding of the Psychological and Physical aspects of this lifestyle. I am strict when the occasions call for it and sensual and provocative when I choose to be. I am quite generous and you have to be as well to be my slave.
Like I emphasized in my previous email we are moving ahead because I am sure by now you know for sure that you are submissive that this is definitely for you, so you won't have any problems relinquishing control to me slave? I can be free early in the day or late in the evening depending on my workload, I can work around your availability as well, let me know what times you think are best for you my slave. I want to start spending time with you ASAP slave, am ready to meet and start training you, you do however have to satisfy all of my criteria to be my acceptable slave slut and this you will know in due time my slut, its a short process that you must go through. At least we should be able to have at least a session together within a 2 week period, we will be able to manage this more effectively after a couple of sessions together. Training will be at my place for straight up sessions, we met on a sex site we both know that our aim is sexual gratification, so there will be no wining and dining just making our fantasies and desires a reality.
My fantasies and desires are more "BD" and very much less of "SM".So there will be no sadistic intentions towards you my slave. There will be more of role-playing and playing with sensual toys and accessories my slave, am familiar with almost every scenario of role-playing my slut, just keep in mind my slut whatever role we are playing Sexy professor and student, Sexy nurse, and patient whatever it is am always in control. I am a mistress with little limits, dominant very strict and caring, I have been a mistress for a pretty long time, as a lifestyle choice and I have experienced almost every fetish, either with slaves that I have owned myself or at fetish parties with my other dommes friends. However, I would love to know your limits so it can help me in molding you to be my perfect slave. I live in Oakland, so planning for our sessions with being easier and less stressful. We live in close proximity to each other we can have short sessions of about 2-3 hours at regular intervals.
I have further instructions for you.I'm dead serious about being the ONLY mistress you can have other filings(non-dominant girlfriend/wife) but I must be your only mistress, when you are with me, I want your full attention if you are going to be the slave for me I hope you are, if by now you still have others(dominant women), I want you to get rid of them and that is my first order to you and it requires your maximum obedience. Your second task is to send decent pictures of yourself to me in your next email no dick pics slave, I want to see what you look like and reply with more details about you using my email as a source of inspiration.
Your Mistress Ann.
(she sent me pictures of herself in lingerie as well at this point)
Me:
Mistress,
I am ready to submit and be your slave.
I am a 29 year old single man, never married and no significant women in my life currently. I am 5'8" tall and have a fit/athletic build. I have never had a mistress before and I look forward to being your slave. I trust you and only you to be my mistress. I think its admirable that you are so true to yourself and know who you are and what you want. I am happy to serve you and be a part of that vision.
My schedule shifts from week to week, there are times when I am very busy or out of town and other times when I am free. Later in the evening/night can work for me more consistently, however morning may also be open depending on the day. If I am in town weekends are generally open and available. This we can work out on a session to session basis and I will do my utmost best to conform to your preference. I would also like to start ASAP. I am okay with the frequency of at least 1 session every 2 weeks, however I am open to increasing this as you train me to be your slave. This can start as soon as tomorrow(Sunday 5/5). I will be unavailable from 5/8-5/13 as I will be out of town.
In terms of my limits, I am fairly open to most things on the "BD" side of things. I feel as you train me and our relationship as mistress and slave grows that my hard and soft limits will become more clear as I gain understanding of how I will be serving you and what types of things we will be doing. One hard limit I have currently is not overextending my right shoulder backwards as I recently injured it and it is in the later stages of healing. This should not be a problem after a few more weeks. In terms of the "SM" side of things, you have already mentioned that this will be limited given your desires for me as your slave. That being said I am not comfortable with severe physical abuse resulting in excessive bleeding and scarring especially on commonly exposed areas of the body such as the face. As I mentioned earlier these limits will evolve as we journey down this path.
I have attached pictures of myself for you. I recently decided to get rid of my hair and have included pictures of me both with and without. I don't take many pictures of myself. Please let me know if you would like more.
I am ready to relinquish control to you and give you my undivided attention.
Your slave
Her:
I Wore Up Thinking About Using You My Sex Slave
You arrived as instructed at your Goddess home for training to commence. You knock on the door and wait. I open the door and using my finger signal for you to enter. I point to the floor, you remove your clothing and fold it neatly and place them in the corner, you turn around and then get down onto your knees and lower your head, and place your hands behind your back.
I place a collar on your neck, then I secure your hands behind your back. I then instruct you to look at me, as you raise your head I start to remove my clothes. I notice you becoming extremely hard and excited from seeing your Goddess remove her clothes, standing there with only her bra and panties on, I instruct you to remove my already soaked panties being so wet expecting you since using your teeth. You come closer to me on your knees and gently get your teeth on the waistband of my panties and slowly work them down, moving around me and focusing on the waistband of my panties. As you finally remove my panties, I have already removed my leash and now I look down on you attaching the leash to your collar and say," slut, if you are very good in your training today you will be rewarded very generously" you reply, yes Mistress." I then lead you to the side of the bed with you leash like my little slut bitch that you are...
I take the bonds of your hands and tell you to get on the bed, no on the bed I tie your hands to the headboard and your legs to the foot of the bed and then I start smothering you with my pussy while I popped your cock and balls with my crop (gently). I'm grinding my pussy in your face wiping my nectar all over you, and the sweet smell of juicy wet pussy and the stinging from my crop made your sissy cock so hard. Soon I'll cum in your face and force you to eat all of it. Then I take some clamps and placed them on each of your nipples. You grit your teeth as the sharp pinching sensations running through your body. Your mistress pops your cock and balls again with her crop turning your throbbing cock harder and harder. She pauses and then gently strokes it with her hand and spits on it. Mistress leans down and takes your cock in her mouth. She strokes up and down giving you firm bites along with your cock head and shaft as she goes. Then your mistress climbs on top of you and allows you to feel her pussy slide down on your cock while she tugs on the chain attached to the nipple clamps. You grimace in the sweet pain that makes you thrust up deep inside her. You so want to grab her and grind inside her, but she has you tied, and you are at my mercy as I tease you by pulling my pussy off of you and pulling on your nipples again. She uses her crop to spank your cock once again. I continue this cycle repeatedly training your cock to be obedient to my pussy until finally your Mistress mounts you for the final time and bounces up and down and back and forth on your grinding her clit down on you till you can hold it no longer. At that moment, Mistress gives a gentle yank on the nipple clamps and I cum so hard and intense feeling the sweet pain run down your body and through your cock as you erupt inside me.
Your Very Horny Mistress Ann.
Me:
I want nothing more than to please you mistress. Your desires are one with my desires. Please use me.
Her:
My Sex Slave,
I am very happy getting to know you better and glad I choose you to be my fucktoy bitch slave. Your words portray respect, readiness, and willingness to serve as my worthy sub. I am going to do everything to make you my perfect slave, through light and erotic assignments, teasing and other activities that will bring your true submissive nature out to the surface my fucktoy slut.
Been a lifestyle domme my slut, am not in a mistress mode all the time, when our relationship takes off there will be some flirting, kissing and touching that might be considered vanilla a scenario where we just enjoy each other and not necessarily in a Mistress/slave setting. However, keep in mind that our relation stems from a Mistress and slave dynamic and you must remember you are the slave always. I do a little volunteer work when I can and am a registered member of the red cross. I work as an interior designer and decorator, it can be quite a tasking job with deadlines and perfectionist clients but I like to push myself as much as I can and I enjoy it. I am excited and looking forward to the memorable times we'll share together as Mistress and slave.
This is my evaluation so far my fucktoy bitch slave ***, through our communication, you have opened up to me my slave and with a little training, you can become my perfect male slut. Your response to my erotic email very enthusiastic my slave and it showed me that indeed you are ready to become a fucktoy bitch slave. We'll proceed with starting our session. I'll get back to you on the dates and times we can begin. Reply ASAP.
Love Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Mistress,
The more I learn about you, the more I feel like I have to learn from you. I am ready to begin this new relationship with you as your slave. I hold volunteer service in a high respect and am turned on by the fact that you do work for the greater good. I am eager to begin training with you. Nothing would make me happier than to be the slave you want me to be even in those times where you are not in mistress mode, I am your slave.
I have actually recently become interested in interior design of small intentional spaces for the purpose of creating the most ideal environments to support mind, body and soul. I would love to learn from you in that way as well.
My anticipation to serve you grows by the minute, I look forward to hearing back from you.
Your humble slave
Her:
My pussy licking cum slavetoy
I want you to grab my ass in ecstasy while I ride your face with my juicy wet pussy. I want our bodies to connect on a spiritual level with our hands, fingers, breathe and everything else sensually entwined. I have a very wild imagination and I would love to help you reach your highest point of pleasure as you serve me, I want to take you on a journey (long term) if you prove worthy of my SUPREMACY. Your cock is mine to do with as I please my fucktoy bitch slave, this means you can only cum with my permission slave, from now on, no jerking off with my permission slave. I will teach you to make me squirt uncontrollably, I'll convert you into a fully automated pussy licking, ass worshiping slave puppy.
My panties are soaked thinking about using you my fucktoy slut love ***, we can have our sessions on the 15th and 17th and we can start in the morning around 11 am or evening around 5 pm on these dates. Let me know my fucktoy bitch slave if this timeline works for you. If we proceed from this point my slave there will be some financial commitments for both of us.
I have different approaches I used in training my slaves in the past my slave, I will study you my slave and determine what specific technique to use in teaching you all the different ways to please me. I have had 3 long term subs in the past my slave, one before I was married, another briefly about a year ago and I currently own a female slave that I play with from time to time,she is an air hostess so don't get to play with her as much as I would like which prompted my search for a male slave,I've been looking for a male slut for a little time now and I think I have found the perfect slave in you my slut. Looking forward to putting my collar of possession on you my slave and attach your leash and walk you around in your true submissive nature, you must not disobey my direct orders and wish slave, to please me you must always follow my instructions when it pertains to our mistress slave relationship. Respond ASAP
Your Mistress Ann.
(she sent me regular clothes pictures in this email(same woman from previous as per pictures)
Me:
The way you convey your desire through words is unparalleled. You paint a picture in my imagination that only makes me want to serve you more mistress. My primary purpose is to serve you and fulfill your deepest desires, anything above that is a mere bonus. My pleasure is secondary to your will and I will do anything to please you. I cant wait to be trained to be everything you want me to be. I can already feel the tension and its growing. You are now in control of my sexual impulses. The journey has already begun. I will worship you as the goddess you are. Lead and I will follow.
The 15th and the 17th works for me, I am not entirely sure of my work schedule yet. Lets tentatively meet in the morning on the Wednesday the 15th and in the evening on Friday the 17th.
I am open to the financial commitments. I'm curious about what this will entail?
I know that from the moment I lay eyes on you, I will be lost in your ocean. Unable to do anything but surrender.
Your humble slave
Her:
My fucktoy bitch slave, we'll begin our session on the evening of the 15th my fucktoy bitch slave ***. I am sure you know any form of relationship at some point will involve some financial decisions (dinner, the occasional gift and such).In a relationship like this, the financial decisions come early on in bondage clothing, bondage tools, and toys my fucktoy bitch slave to augment our experience. I enjoy been dominant so am Mistress, not a Dominatrix so I don't do this for money and I don't expect you to pay for sessions or anything like that my slave, however for our fantasies to become a reality and sessions reach its sexual satisfying peak there are tools needed to augment that experience my slave.
Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yea I expected all of that.
Is there anything you would like me to get prior to our first session mistress? I want to be as ready as possible so that I may be able to serve you to the best of my ability. Your slave
Her:
My Fucktoy Bitch Slave,
Your darkest passions still lie dormant inside you my fucktoy slut, I haven't even begun to tap in your full total submissiveness, my slave. These desires are waiting, sweltering and pulsing with every breath waiting for your Goddess to awaken them with just a single touch and mold and stimulate you into perfection. I will be hosting our training session at my home in Oakland my fucktoy bitch slave. I will like to spend at least spend up to 3 hours with you my fucktoy bitch during our first session, our first time together is going to be quite exciting, you and I are going to discuss at length what's about to happen in our session together and both decide on a safe word if one as to be chosen.
Like I mentioned my slave we at the point where a financial commitment is required. There are a few tools and equipment that have to be available before our sessions begin my slave. I don't use bondage tools that have shared with the previous slave, these are going to be new and exclusive for you and me my fucktoy bitch slave. I have discreet supplier my fucktoy bitch slave and a list of which includes but not limited to Deluxe SS/Leather Collar,Locking Men‘s Chrome Collar w/ Ring,KinkLab Double-Lock Police-Style Handcuffs,Nylon Rope, 25-ft,Adjustable Wrist,Corinthian Corset Dress,leather chastity Briefs With Penis Hole,Nipple Clamps and Cock Ring Set,Pjur Back Door Glide,Envy Five Rechargeable Silicone Vibrator. So am ready and willing to make a commitment to making you my slave by paying at least half of this cost of the toys right now, I presume that you are willing, ready and able to do the same before our training begins my fucktoy bitch slave. If you are unable to make this commitment at least 2 days before the date your training starts now my slave, we will have to reschedule for another time.
This is a one time only payment and these are the tools we will continue to use as long as you are my fucktoy bitch ***. Your quota my slave will be $800 and you will make payment to the toys' supplier my fucktoy bitch in readiness for our session to begin. This will show me that you are indeed ready and willing to be committed to being my sissy fucktoy bitch. I will be waiting for your response
Love Your Forever Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yes mistress, I am out of town. I apologize for the delayed responsiveness, I am away from my computer and phone most of the time while I am here. I will be back in town on Monday night or Tuesday morning. Please advise me of further details about the next steps and I will do my best to proceed within the given time frames that you provided.
My fire to serve you grows every day.
Your slave
Her:
My fucktoy bitch slave ***, I hope you are having a great time at the festival, my slave. I'm super excited as well my fucktoy bitch slave, can't stop thinking of using you my slut. Planning on getting a collar with maybe your name on it my fucktoy bitch slave what do you think. Like I alluded to my slave you'll be making payment for your share of the bondage gear directly to my supplier. She is a mistress as well very versed in the lifestyle, reliable and I always get my bondage tools from her. The method of payment will be bitcoin, my slave. Are you familiar with bitcoin?
Love Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Mistress,
Forgive me for my lack of responsiveness, I did not get back from my trip until yesterday and had work straight away until 8pm.
I am not too familiar with bitcoin. That being said, I dont quite understand why all this discretion needs to take place in the acquisition of simple items for our sessions. It seems a bit much given that we haven't met yet.
Her:
Ok, slave ***, first you don't reply to my emails on time and now you are the expert on what as to happen before we begin our sessions?

Thats where we've left off so far and im not sure if I should continue conversing with her or if I should just call it quits. It seems sketch that the acquisition of these toys/items will be done through her friend and that its paid for using bitcoin. This feels like a textbook toys scam to me but a very well played one. That being said if it isn't I can only imagine the things that will ensue....
submitted by Subslave111 to BDSMAdvice [link] [comments]

B Team Playoff Hype

After the excitement of A Team playoffs, it would make sense to take a night off, relax, and watch B Team bois have some good old fashioned fun, right?
Right?
B Teamers are savages. B Teamers are created when the primordial sludge of popped Majors, Minors, and A Teamers are drained off and the combined fluids coagulate into balls in the incestual birthing pit. Like Uruk Hai, they’re snatched from the womb ready to chat shit and get hit. Their techniques are unrefined but the sheer tenacity of these little ankle biters is enough to strike fear in the hearts of the most senior Tagpro players. Flags have been capped, powerups have been fought over, and these teams have weathered the regular season only to head straight into the hurricane known as that bitch Irma who delayed the season a week, but also known... as playoffs.
MATCH #1
CLOCKS N BLOCKS VS C.R.E.A.M.
“Familiar With Respawn” z0mbie, “Worse Deity” I Am Zeus, “Currently Embalmed” ping tut, “Plays O Cause He Got” no defense, “Has No Areola” legit nipple, “Eats Out Little Boys” Shere Khan, “Straight Outta Neverland” Peter Pan, and “No Chance In Hell” Snowball
VS
“Gushing Granny” Dew1234, “Founder Of The JJJ” Jeremy Jamm, “Absolute Zero” kelvin, “These Dudes All Sound Like Elements On The Periodic Table” Markam, Klovar, Trituin, and Halve
C’mon. It’s fucking cocks and cum. Can the CRC please investigate markam and horse for rigging because they must have planned this out. Y’know what, fuck it, neither of you win.
CNB and CRM are both disqualified for rigging and Needful Pings not only get in but are rewarded with a bye for having a little class.
MATCH #2
TC JUKES VS FUNKETOWN (I’M NOT BOTHERING WITH THOSE DOTS)
“I’ma Let You Finish, But NEU Had One Of The Best Offending Seasons Of All Time” T-Swift!, “Actually An Okay Guy” degenerate, “Sets Off Allergies” PoppyBall, “2nd Most Adorable Tagpro Name” snuggles, “Chieftess” Tonto, “Not The Subway Guy” Jarek, and “Why Are You On D If Your Name Is” MrStealYoFlag
VS
“Is This A Rapper? I Don’t Really Know A Lot About Rap” ill Fayze, “Not A Horse” Twilight, “Achieved The Rank Of Count” Monte Cristo, “GOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL” Victor Messi, “Has” Fitz. “When He Loses, “Short Order” Cook, and “Lucky” LarryLuciano
Funketown is still a shit name. FNK isn’t really funky or, uh, funke, so TCJ jukes them out and wins I guess.
TCJ wins in six because wolfcola is bad at choosing names.
MATCH #3
BALL OR NOTHING VS PI-CURIOUS
“Nihilistic” Nilus, “Types ‘Du Hast’ In Every Game” RAMMSTEIN, “Boss, What Took You So Long” -Kaz-, “Are You Tough Enough To Snuff The” SluffandRuff, “Number Of The Slightly Lesser Known Beast” 777z, “Squeaky” Keekly (My personal favorite), “Despicably” Devious, and “Younger Brother Of clew And clew2” clew3
VS
“Uses Visa” MasterCard78, “HOLY SHIT IT’S” sodaboy2020, “Has No Manners” nanner, “Robb Stark” TheYoungWolf, “High In Celsius, Even Higher In Fahrenheit” hot diCe, “Sounds Like Gum” WRIG, and “Doesn’t Describe His Play” Elegant
Once again, Ajax didn’t take how hard it would be for me to make a joke about the team name into account when he created BoN, so I turn my attention to Pi-Curious. If BoN can throw pies on the map to distract PIC they might have a chance, but God help them if the bakery fucked up and sent cakes. You do not want to offend a pi-curious man by giving him cake.
BoN pulls out a hard fought win with pies or gets roflstomped in case of cake.
You probably don’t even care about the predictions. You’re here for the nicknames.
MATCH #4
CIRCLEJUKERS VS THE LAND BEFORE TIMERS
“Yet To Be Knighted” Sir Cle Jerk, “We All Have Crippling” Sadness, “Can’t Find The” CLITLER, “Saves Chips For A” lazyday, and “Yer A Memer” Swagrid
VS
“Pineapple Gobbler” j0ules, “That Sound When You Slip On Ice” Skwid, “One Letter From A Ban” chuckk, “Broken Caps Lock Button” YUNG ZEEF, “The Island Was The First Result On Google” Avalon, “Went To Harvard” Stanfordite, and “Not Quite Hammer Pants” PillowPants
As discussed before, TLBT have an innate ability to stop the opposing team’s timers. However, this actually plays to their disadvantage today because CJ juke on a schedule and get very upset when they can’t keep track of the time. CJ come out and win every round in which they play the blue balls, and I have the feeling they’re very blue balled already.
CJ win in seven games and release some pent up frustration.
MATCH #5
REKT ANGLES VS BOATY MCBOATFACE
“He’s A” Lumberjack “And That’s Okay”, 3.1 “Gigawatts” Thor, “Hashtag!” #!, Such”t”it, “Can’t Derail The” HYPETRAIN, “Spelling Was Not The” 11th Cmndmnt, and Al “9th Grade Field Trip” Chaperone
VS
“Playoff” tmmbl, “Father Of The Truxsphere” Koala King, “Peyton Manning’s Favorite Flavor” Papa John, “Kills With Poems” Poeticalto, whosagoodboy “You Are, Yes You Are!”, and “His Holiness, GOAT, The Man Your Mother Warned You About, Mr. Omnipotent, Tmmmbl’s Headache, Inmate #6942069, Chief White House Strategist, Currently Mining Bitcoins, Addicted To Juke Juice, Egocentric Extremist, Slap Me Harder, Leader Of The Phantom Thieves Of Heart, A Team Is Overrated, I Played Majors Once, Ajax’s Worst Nightmare, John Cena Aficionado, Fluent In l33t, Wordsmith, The Most Interesting Man In The World, Cum Guzzler, Gum Cuzzler, Survivor Of The Friendzone, Double Bubble Toil And Trouble, Too Hot To Handle, McLovin’s The Name Tagpro’s My Game, Stone Cold Killer, Kawaii In The Streets Senpai In The Sheets, Check Me Out On Twitter, Mrs. God’s Baby Boy, Oz As In The Wizard Of Oz Not Oh Zee For Fuck’s Sake Guys, Chicken Fucker, Stuck In NEUhusky’s Shadow, Committed Sudoku, The Fastest Fingers In The West, LMC’s Vintage Wine, Level 5 Biohazard, The Mad Milker Of Manitoba, Not Australian, Mental Asylum Escapee, Post-Op D To O, Ow Fuck I Just Slammed My Ankle Into My Table Oh God It Hurts, Fallen Angel, Trux Spy, Straight C Student, Starving Author, Future A$AP Clan Leader, Scourge Of The South, Bin Laden’s Body Double, Tagprofessor’s Daddy, I Just Fellated Myself With 50 Nicknames And You Read Them All” Oz God
BMB sweeps ‘cause I’m playing.
Hey, these are my shit predictions (shitdictions?), I make the rules.
submitted by ObeySaturnGod to NLTP [link] [comments]

Mega FAQ (Or: Please come here for your questions first)

Qbundle Guide (Step by step setup & Bootstrap) https://burstwiki.org/wiki/QBundle
1( I want to mine or activate My account. Where do find the multiple coins?
You only need 1, an outgoing transaction or reward reassignment will set the public key. Get them from:
https://www.reddit.com/burstcoinmining/comments/7q8zve/initial_burstcoin_requests/
Or (Faucet list)
https://faucet.burstpay.net/ (if this is empty, come back later)
http://faucet.burst-coin.es
Or
https://forums.getburst.net/c/new-members-introductions/getting-started-initial-burstcoin-requests
2( I bought coins on Bittrex and want to move to my new wallet, but can't. Why?
Bittrex will only send to accounts with a public key (not a Burst requirement) so see number 1 and either set the name on the account (IF you will not mine) or set the reward recipient to the pool. Either action will enable the account and allow for transfers from Bittrex.
3( I sent coins from Poloniex/anywhere to Bittrex and they don’t show up after a considerable time. Why?
You need to set an unencrypted message on the transaction, informing Bittrex which account to send the funds to (this is in the directions on Bittrex). Did you do this? Contact Bittrex support with all the details and eventually you will get your funds.
4( How much can I make on Burst?
https://explore.burst.cryptoguru.org/tool/calculate
Gives you an average over time assuming a few things like: Average luck/100% uptime/no overlapping/fees on pool/good plot scan time (<20 seconds) if you do not have all of these, you may not see that number.
5( If I use SSD’s would I make more money?
No, it’s 95% capacity and 5% scan time that determine success. More plot area = better deadlines = better chance of forging a block, or better rates from a pool.
6( What is ‘solo’ and ‘pool’ (wasn’t his name Chewbacca?)
Solo is where you attempt to ‘forge’ (mine) a block by yourself; you get 100% of the block reward and fees. But you only receive funds if you forge, no burst for coming in second place.
Pools allow a group of miners to ‘pool’ together their resources and when a miner wins, they give the pool the winnings (this is done by the reward assignment you completed earlier), it is then divided according to different percentages and methods and burst is sent out according to pool rules (minimum pay-out, time, etc.)
7( I have been mining for 2 days and my wallet doesn’t show any Burst WHY?
Mining solo: it is win-or-lose, nothing in between, and wining is luck and plot size. Pool mining: because it costs 1 burst to send burst, the pools have either a time requirement (every X days) or a minimum amount (100 burst +) so you need to research your pool. Some pools allow for you to set the limit (cryptoGuru and similar) to be met before sending
8( How do I see what I have pending?
On CryptoGuru, based pools, it’s the ‘Pending (burst)’ column, other pools, look for the numbers next to your burst ID. One is Paid and the other pending.
9( I’m part of a pool and I forged a block, but I didn’t recieve the total value of the block, why?
A pool has 2 basic numbers that denote the pay-out method, in the format ‘XX-XX’ (i.e. 50-50) The first number is the % paid to the block forger (miner) and the second is the retained value, which is paid to historic ‘shares’ (or, past blocks that the pool didn’t win, but had a miner that was ‘close’ to winning with a good submitted deadline)
Examples of pools:
0-100 (good for <40TB)
20-80 (30-80TB)
50-50 (60-200TB)
80-20 (150-250)
100-0 (solo mine, 150+ TB)
Please note that there is an overlap as this is personal preference and just guidance; a higher historical share value means a smoother pay-out regime, which some people prefer. If fees are not factored in, or are the same on different pools, the pay-out value will be the same over a long enough period.
10( Is XXX model of hard drive good? Which one do you recommend?
CHEAP is best. If you have 2 new hard drives, both covered by warranty, get the one with the lowest cost per TB (expressed as $/TB , calculated by dividing the cost by the number of terabytes) because plot size is KING,
11( How many drives can I have on my machine?
For best performance, you can have up to 2 drives per thread (3 on a new fast AVX2 CPU). So that quad-core core-2-quad can have up to 8 drives, but a more modern i7 with 4 cores + hyper threading can squeeze 8 * 3 or 24 drives. (Performance while scanning will suffer)
12( Can I game while I mine?
Some people have done so, but you cannot have the ‘maximum’ number of drives and play games generally.
13( Can I mine Burst and GPU mine other coins?
Yes, if you CPU Mine Burst.
14( I’m GPU plotting Burst and GPU mining another coin, my plots are being corrupted, why?
My advice is dedicating a GPU to either mining or plotting, don’t try to do both.
15( What is a ‘plot’?
A plot is a file that contains Hashes, these hashes are used to mine burst. A plot is tied to an account, but they can be created (with the same account ID) on other machines and connected back to your miner(s).
16( Where can I trade/buy/sell Burst?
A list of exchanges is maintained on https://www.reddit.com/burstcoin/ (on the right, ‘Exchanges’ tab) the biggest at the moment are Bittrex and Poloniex, some offer direct Fiat-to-Burst purchase (https://indacoin.com for example)
17( Do I have to store my Burst off the exchange?
No, but it’s safer from hackers who target exchanges, if you cannot guarantee the safety or security of your home computer from Trojans etc, then it might be best to leave on an exchange (but enable 2FA security on your account PLEASE!)
18( What security measures can I take to keep my coin safe?
When you create an account, sign out and back in to your wallet (to make sure you have copied the pass phrase correctly) and keep multiple copies of the key (at least one physically printed or written down and in a safe place, better in 2 places) do not disclose the passphrase to anyone. Finally use either a local wallet or a trusted web wallet (please research before using any web wallet)
19( How can I help Burst?
Run a wallet, which will act as a node (or if you’re a programmer, contact the Dev team Bring attention to burst (without ‘shilling’ or trying to get people to buy) And help translate into your local language
Be a productive member of the community and contribute experience and knowledge if you can, or help others get into Burst.
20( Will I get coins on the fork(s) and where will they be?
There will be no new coin, and no new coins to be given/air dropped etc, the forks are upgrades to burst and there will not be a ‘classic’ or ‘new’ burst.
21( Will I need to move my Burst off of the exchange for the fork?
No, your transactions are on the block chain, which will be used on the fork, they will be visible after the move; nothing will need to be done on your side.
22( Where can I read about the progress of Burst and news in general on the community?
There is no finer place than https://www.burstcoin.ist/
23( What are the communities for Burst and the central website?
Main website: https://www.burst-coin.org/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/burstcoin and https://www.reddit.com/burstcoinmining/
Burstforum.net: https://www.burstforum.net/
Getburst forum: https://forums.getburst.net/
Official Facebook channel: https://m.facebook.com/groups/398967360565392
(these are the forums that are known to be supporting the current Dev Team)
Other ways to talk to the community:
Discord: https://discordapp.com/invite/RPhpjVv
Telegram (General): https://t.me/burstcoin
Telegram (Mining): https://t.me/BurstCoinMining
24( When will Burst partner up with a company?
Burst is a currency, the USD does not ‘partner up’ with a company, the DEV team will not partner up and give over to special interests.
25( Why is the DEV team anonymous?
They prefer anonymity, as it allows them to work without constant scrutiny and questions unless they wish to engage, plus the aim is for Burst to become a major contender, and this brings issues with security. They will work and produce results, they owe you nothing and if you cannot see the vision they provide then please do not ‘invest’ for short term gain.
26( When moon/Lambo/$100/make me rich?
My crystal ball is still broken, come back to the FAQ later for answer (seriously, this is a coin to hold, if you want to day-trade, good luck to you)
27( How can I better educate myself and learn about Dymaxion?
Read about the Dymaxion here: https://www.reddit.com/burstcoin/wiki/dymaxion
28( My reads are slow, why?
There are many reasons for this, if your computer has a decent spec it’s likely due to USB3 hub issues, or plugging into a USB2 hub, but other reasons can be multiple plots in the same folder, but it’s best to visit the mining subreddit. They can help more than an simple FAQ https://www.reddit.com/burstcoinmining/
29( I have a great idea for Burst (not proof of stake related)?
Awesome! Please discuss with the DEV team on discord https://discordapp.com/invite/RPhpjVv
(Please be aware that this is a public forum, you need to find who to ask/tell)
30( I have a great idea for Burst (Proof of stake related)?
No. if you want a POS, find a POS coin. On the tangle which is being implemented a POS/POW/POC coin can be created, but BURST will always be POC mined. You are welcome to implement a proof of stake coin on this!
31( Will the Dev team burn any coins?
Burst is not an ICO, so any coins will need to be bought to be burnt. You are welcome to donate, but the DEV team have no intention of burning any coins, or increasing the coin cap.
32( When will there be an IOS wallet?
IOS wallet is completed; we are waiting for it to go on the app store. Apple is the delaying factor.
33( Why do overlapping plots matter?
Plots are like collections of lottery tickets (and if only one ticket could win). Having 2 copies is not useful, and it means that you have less coverage of ‘all’ the possible numbers. It’s not good, avoid.
34( My local wallet used to run, I synchronised it before and now it says ‘stopped’. when I start it, it stops after a few seconds, what should I do?
I suggest that you change the database type to portable MariaDB (on Qbundle, at the top, ‘Database’ select, ‘change database’) and then re-import the database from scratch (see 35)
35( Synchronising the block chain is slow and I have the patience of a goldfish. What can I do?
On Qbundle , ‘Database’ select ‘Bootstrap chain’ and make sure the CryptoGuru repository is selected, then ‘start Import’ this will download and quickly stuff the local database (I suggest Portable MariaDB, see 34) (lol, loop)
36( What will the block reward be next month/will the block rewards run out in 6 months?
https://www.ecomine.earth/burstblockreward/ Rewards will carry on into 2026, but transaction fees will be a bigger % by then, and so profitable mining will continue.
37( How can I get started with Burst (wallet/mining/everything) and I need it in a video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJLhw37Lh_8 Watch and be enlightened.
38( Can I mine on multiple machines with the same account?
Yes, if you want to pool mine this can be done (but be prepared for small issues like reported size being incorrect. Just be sure to keep question 33 in mind.)
39( Why do some of my drives take forever to plot?
Most likely they are SMR drives, it’s best to plot onto another SSD and then move the finished plot/part of a plot across to the SMR drive as this is much quicker. SMR drives are fine on the read, just random writes that are terrible.
So plot an SMR drive quickly, plot to a non SMR or better still SSD drive, in as big a chunk as possible (fewer files better) and move. a version of Xplotter, called Splotter, can do this easily.
https://github.com/NoParamedic/SPlotter
40( I have a great idea; why not get listed on more exchanges!!
Exchanges list coins because of 2 reasons:
  1. Clients email and REQUESTING Burst and provide details like:
    i. https://www.burst-coin.org/information-for-exchanges
  2. The coin pays (often A LOT, seriously we’ve been asked for 50 BTC)
I suggest you speak with your exchange and ask ‘when will they offer Burst?’
41( Do you have a roadmap?
https://www.burst-coin.org/roadmap
42( Why is the price of Burst going up/down/sideways/looping through time?
The price of burst is still quite dependent upon Bitcoin, meaning that if Bitcoin gains, the value of Burst gains, if Bitcoin drops then Burst also drops. If there is news for Burst then we will see something independent of Bitcoin moving. Variations can be because of people buying in bulk or selling in bulk. There are also ‘pump and dump’ schemes that we detest, that can cause spikes in price that have nothing to do with news or Bitcoin, just sad people taking advantage of others.
43( Where is the best place to go with my mining questions?
https://www.reddit.com/burstcoinmining/
or https://t.me/BurstCoinMining
44( What hardware do you advise me to buy, is this computer good?
See question 43 for specific questions on hardware, it depends on so many variables. The ‘best’ in my opinion is a 36 bay Supermicro storage server, usually they have dual 6-core CPU’s and space for 36 drives. No USB cables, plotting and mining monster, anything else, DYOR.
45( Where do you buy your hard drives?
I have bought most from EBay in job lots, and some refurbished drives with short warranties. Everything else I have bought, from Amazon.
46( Can I mine on my Google drive/cloud based storage?
In short: no. If you want to try, and get to maybe 1 TB and then find that your local connection isn’t fast enough, or that shortly after, your account is blocked for various reasons. Please be my guest.
47( Can I mine on my NAS?
Some you can mine with the NAS (if it can run the miner, it can scan locally) but generally they’re not very fast. good for maybe 16 TB? Having a plot on a NAS and mining from another computer depends on the network speed between the NAS and scanning computer. I believe you can scan about 8 TB (maybe a bit more) and keep the scan times to within acceptable, but YMMV.
48( How can I set up a node?
No need to set up a node, just set up a wallet (version 2.0.4) or Qbundle (2.2) and it will do the rest
49( Are the passphrases secured?
I’ll leave the effort to a few people to show how secure a 12-word passphrase is: https://burstforum.net/topic/4766/the-canary-burst-early-warning-system Key point: brute forcing it will be around 13,537,856,339,904,134,474,012,675,034 years.
50( I logged into my account (maybe with a different burst ID) and see no balance!!
I have dealt with this very issue multiple times, and there are only 3 options:
  1. You have typed in the password incorrectly
  2. You have copy-pasted the password incorrectly
  3. You are trying to log into a ‘local wallet’ which the block chain has not finished updating
The last one generally leaves the burst ID the same, but old balances will show. No, this is not a security problem, and yes, windows loves to add spaces after the phrase you enter when copied, and that space is important in getting to your account.
51( Are there channels for my language?
Telegram:
Spanish: https://t.me/burstcoin_es
German: https://t.me/Burstcoinde
Italian: https://t.me/BurstCoinItalia
Forum:
Spanish: https://burst-coin.es/index.php/forum/index
Discord:
Spanish: https://discordapp.com/invite/RaaGna9
Bulgarian: https://discord.gg/r4uzTd
(there are others, please contact me to put up)
52( I am mining in a pool, and it says that my effective capacity is lower than I actually have, why?
  1. If you've not been mining for >48 hours, or just added additional capacity, it will take time.
  2. The value fluctuates (normally, +-5% but can be up to 10% at times)
  3. Read on the ‘Quick info’ tab about adjusting your deadline to compensate for changes i. revisit once a month for best results
  4. If you have overlapping plots it will also be lower so be aware of this (see question 33)
53( What pool should I join?
First of all, read question 9, after you have understood that it depends on the size (and how patient you are) select from the following list: https://www.ecomine.earth/burstpools/
54( What miner to use?
I use Blago’s miner, there are many out there but Blago’s works for me on CPU mining, it can be found in Qbundle.
55( What Wallet to use (I use windows)?
Qbundle: https://github.com/PoC-Consortium/Qbundle/releases/ guide: https://burstwiki.org/wiki/QBundle
56( What Wallet to use (Linux)?
https://package.cryptoguru.org/ for Debian and Ubuntu, for Mac. read:
https://www.ecomine.earth/macoswalletinstallguide/
57( Will i need to 'replot' after POC2 (second fork) happens?
No, there will be a tool which will optimise, but it is not CPU intensive (it basically re-shuffles your plot) and is just IO intensive. You do not need to replot.
TurboPlotter and https://github.com/PoC-Consortium/Utilities/tree/mastepoc1to2.pl are tools that will/can be used to actuate optimization, but PLEASE wait with optimization until after the hard fork.
58( Will the transaction fee always be 1 burst?
No, dynamic fees are coming in the next fork.
submitted by dan_dares to burstcoin [link] [comments]

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